Someone asked me the other day, “What do you want your kids to know?” and this is what I had to say.
It isn’t numbers or letters or fine or gross motor skills or any of the developmental milestones measured by experts. Well, I do want them to read and write and play soccer eventually, but not along a particular time line and those still aren’t the most important milestones for me.
I want them to wake up each day and feel hopeful about what comes next.
I want them to feel whole and happy, so they can be generous with others.
Oh, shoot, this is the part that sucks.
Because it is much easier to teach numbers and letters, with flash cards and worksheets. It is much easier to take the soccer ball in the backyard and kick it around.
But, the only way to teach an underlying feeling of hopefulness and generosity is to show them.
And I can be a snappy little bitch.
Sometimes Sparkles can get frustrated, throw her toy down and yell at her sister, “STOOOOPPPPPPPP THAAAAATTTTT!” and I want to thrown my car keys down and yell back, “WHY ARE YOU SO FFFRRRRUUUUSTRATED?!!!!??!!??”
Once in a while, Buttercup says G** D*** for no particular reason while we are shopping at H-E-B and I know where she learned that too.
I don’t always live, or feel deep in my bones, the way of life I want my girls to learn. My girls are a mirror, reminding me when I’m not where I want to be.
So I try again.
Maybe that is the third thing I want my kids to know. To keep trying again.