G** D*** H-E-B!

Someone asked me the other day, “What do you want your kids to know?” and this is what I had to say.

It isn’t numbers or letters or fine or gross motor skills or any of the developmental milestones measured by experts. Well, I do want them to read and write and play soccer eventually, but not along a particular time line and those still aren’t the most important milestones for me.

I want them to wake up each day and feel hopeful about what comes next.

I want them to feel whole and happy, so they can be generous with others.

Oh, shoot, this is the part that sucks.

Because it is much easier to teach numbers and letters, with flash cards and worksheets. It is much easier to take the soccer ball in the backyard and kick it around.

But, the only way to teach an underlying feeling of hopefulness and generosity is to show them.

And I can be a snappy little bitch.

Sometimes Sparkles can get frustrated, throw her toy down and yell at her sister, “STOOOOPPPPPPPP THAAAAATTTTT!” and I want to thrown my car keys down and yell back, “WHY ARE YOU SO FFFRRRRUUUUSTRATED?!!!!??!!??”

Once in a while, Buttercup says G** D*** for no particular reason while we are shopping at H-E-B and I know where she learned that too.

I don’t always live, or feel deep in my bones, the way of life I want my girls to learn. My girls are a mirror, reminding me when I’m not where I want to be.

So I try again.

Maybe that is the third thing I want my kids to know. To keep trying again.

 


8 Responses

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  1. Kifferie

    Thank you for being real!!!! SO rare that mother’s aren’t putting on this “oh, I don’t know what you’re talking about, ME and MY kids are perfect” mask! It’s these real admissions that open up meaningful conversations for growing, changing and building community and relationships. SO again, I commend you for having the kahones to throw it out there for all to read!!You ROCK!

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    Carol Reply:

    Yeah, it is pretty real around here some days. I have a picture of Sparkles when she got mad after church one day, took off her dress and ran around in her panties. It isn’t so perfect.

    Thank you for your comment!

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  2. Gloria Ramsey

    So you are a normal parent. I have a song on my play list that is from “Into the Woods” called Children will Listen. It is a great song and I love the message. I only wish I could be less than human and heed what they song says.

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    Carol Reply:

    Ah, to be normal. I like normal. I’ll have to check out that song. Thanks for your note.

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  3. Sydney

    Well, perhaps we can make it a new catch phrase. You know, an endearing term that’s sweet when young kids say it. Then you would feel better and when Buttercup says it I will not look like an a** for laughing. 😉 (as im sure i would be) You’re so good for worrying, it’s the self awareness that makes a good parent, don’t sweat the small missteps.

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    Carol Reply:

    That would be a cool catch phrase, but I’m not sure it would work the same everywhere. 🙂 Thanks for the thought.

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  4. Michelle B

    You are so right, our kids are a mirror and mine show me I need some work too.

    [Reply]

    Carol Reply:

    Man, getting married and having kids both teach me a lot. I thought I knew it all when I was single.

    [Reply]

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