(If you are visiting looking for SXSW for Kids info, here it is!)
My cat, Daisy, is for sale. She may have her issues, but she also has a magic power. She is a Mood Cat.
These are Daisy’s unique and endearing characteristics:
– Daisy is thirteen years old, but she still nurses. I got her from Town Lake Animal Shelter when she was a tiny kitten, TOO tiny. Don’t ever get the TINIEST kitten because TINY kittens are SOOOO cute. Get only a sort-of-small kitten next time. Daisy will paw and knead your skin, with each claw fully extended, nearly drawing blood. Long sleeves and pants are recommended at our house. But even then, Daisy will suck on your long sleeves and pants, leaving a wet spot. On some occasions, for some reason more often with guests, she will knead and suck on an actual breast. This should be the worst, but it isn’t. The worst is when she starts kneading and sucking on you while you are asleep. Even after Daisy has passed on, my vampire nightmares are sure to continue.
– Daisy used to poop and pee on the carpet. Not on the hard wood floors downstairs, only on the carpet upstairs, in her favorite spot just outside of the laundry room, which conveniently had a LITTER BOX. So, it wasn’t like she couldn’t make it to the litter box, it was more like she was protesting something, but she forgot to tell us what exactly. Then we put a cat door in the door to the garage and we put the litter box there. Now she poops and pees in the litter box. Strange. But, she still throws up all over the house. It’s not so bad, just regular cat throw up, but it is best to wear shoes in our house, with your long sleeves and pants.
– Daisy will scratch on the door to the backyard and plead with her eyes to go outside. Then when you get up and open the door, she will remain in her spot. Sometimes, I tell her, as if she were a conscious being, “If you make me get up, you have to go outside” and I’ll put her outside and close the door. Then she immediately starts scratching on the door to get back in. If I get up again to open the door, well, you can guess what happens next.
I might not be doing a good job selling my cat.
But, I’m getting to the good part. She has a magic power. She is a Mood Cat.
When I am feeling well and balanced, I live with Daisy just fine. I am kind and patient. I give her loving cuddles, even when she pretends to want to go outside. I am also quite efficient and effective with the carpet cleaner.
When I am feeling unwell and unbalanced, I get mad at Daisy and I yell at her, as if she is a conscious being. I tell her to get her but outside. I tell her to stop f#$@#$-ing with my carpet.
Is there someone in your family who is hard to read? Then Daisy, The Mood Cat might be just the cat for you, to give you an early clue about how your family member really feels.
Make me an offer. I can be very reasonable.
(Well, Daisy might not agree with that.)