OK Sister, I Take That Back

I’m pretty sure my plane is going to crash, 50% sure at least. If my plane doesn’t crash, there is a 50% chance that something terrible will happen to my kids while I’m gone. These aren’t very good odds.

I didn’t use to be this way. I used to fly every week for work, getting a cab at my house at 6:00 am for my 6:30 am flight and it was about as scary as going for a swim wearing a life jacket with a dozen life guards watching.

But, since I’ve had these babies, I feel different.

I’m anxious.

I play out scenarios in my mind of getting the call and how it would feel and what would happen next.

I try to stop that.

As soon as I can.

When I was young and single and a consultant on the road, I asked my sister with small kids to fly out to my client site for a free visit.  She made a big deal about the flight and how scary it would be and who would raise her small kids if something would happen to her?

And I was judgmental, a little. I thought, oh my, you can’t live like that, being scared of everything.

OK, sister, I take that back.

A Mom can be scarred.

But, if I really, objectively, wanted to be safer, I would be better off driving less or eating healthier foods than avoiding planes. So, I do like my sister did, I get on the plane anyway.

And, as you can see by photo evidence of the Spoonbridge and Cherry at the Minneapolis Sculpture Garden,  the plane didn’t crash. And there haven’t been any phone calls with bad news either.

(And sister, remember when my brothers and I would try to get you and your husband to get a babysitter so you could go out drinking late and night with us and I gave you a hard time for staying home because I didn’t realize that babies don’t sleep in? They don’t EVER, EVER, EVER sleep in, not until they are thirteen? I take that back, too.)

To my sister, I’m sorry I was such a dork. To my girls, I miss you and I love you. I’m 100% sure of that.

7 Responses

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  1. Sydney

    This is so sweet. I’m sure all is well, and so glad for that!


  2. Pam Quackenbush

    Love it, Carol… I, too, developed a fear of flying after we had our kiddo. Turbulance can bring me to tears. Enjoy your week!


  3. There was turbulence on a flight about a month ago and I held hands with the woman next to me. We were pretty good friends, more like family, by the time we landed.


  4. I haven’t gotten the fear of flying but it’s amazing how many more things I think about because of Delilah. Oh, and no one knows what the drinking and waking up the next morning is like until they’ve lived it. I had no idea. And, I’ve learned that it really sucks!


  5. joan

    Wow…I bet your sister is enjoying your post!! And having a chuckle remembering those funny looks when sister had such wild ideas as going out doing something (other than falling asleep watching a movie on the couch) after 9:00 pm!


  6. Carolyn

    Carol, this is so true. I was a travel writer before my kids were born and traveled all the time, and then after they were born I would have all kinds of anxious thoughts about them when I flew. Thanks for tapping into this universal feeling so many moms have!



  7. […] told y’all how airplanes that shake and rock and tip and drop make me worry, but I can’t let him see me […]

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