When Dr. Sears and Gary Ezzo Have a Baby

OK, whatever, I want to say to Time magazine about it’s cover for its article about Attachment Parenting. It is sensational and sexualized and designed to create a reaction. But, if they had a more traditional cover, maybe a nice picture of Dr Sears in his doctor’s coat with his arms crossed, people wouldn’t be talking about it now. It is hard to get people’s attention these days.

Here are my thoughts:

1. I’m having a crazy-hard time writing this post. I want to exaggerate and use humor, but whatever I write sounds like I’m getting into the Mommy Wars and I don’t mean it that way.

2. With my girls, I use Dr. Sears’ loving style combined with Gary Ezzo’s (Baby Wise) practical strategies. Both of these guys make me super nuts, but I use some ideas from both of them too. In my mind, it is like these guys got married, had a baby and their DNA mixed and that is what works for me.

3. If I met Dr. Sears, I would tell him that I appreciate his message to cuddle, kiss and love on your babies. But, I didn’t do extended breast feeding, co-sleeping or baby wearing and my kids and I are very close and well attached.

4. If I met Gary Ezzo, I would tell them that I appreciate his message that parenting is a balance between the parents’ and the kids’ needs and independence and attachment are both valuable for babies and kids. But, I don’t control my kids’ beginning and ending nap times, that degree of control doesn’t work for me.

5. I think it is funny that both of these guys use science and anecdotal stories of mothering in more primitive cultures to support very opposite conclusions. Human nature makes the definition of truth interesting sometimes.

Most of all, I appreciate that there isn’t one RIGHT way out there. As Moms, we read and evaluate and try and share and we find our own way.

Maybe next time I’ll write a more snarky and bold post like “24-hour parenting, REALLY?, #$%#$%@#$@#$!!!!” or “Control Exactly When My Kid Wakes Up, REALLY?, @#$@#$@#$#@$!!!” That would certainly get more links and tweets and views, but I didn’t feel like that today.  This is my less sensational approach not designed to get a reaction, just meant to say that, on this Mother’s Day, may we all find our own way.


12 Responses

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  1. I hear you. I don’t think there is any one right formula to being a Mommy. I wrote about this, too. Not because of attachment parenting but the whole concept of being enough. I am a cafeteria style mom. If it works, I use it. If it doesn’t, I pass it by. (Or at least on a good day — haha)

    I would love to see the Sears/Ezzo baby.
    🙂
    Traci

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    Carol Reply:

    I agree that being ‘enough’ is part of it too. That is another one of those balance things to figure out.

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  2. Very well said. When everyone else is getting up in arms and all “WTF???” it’s nice to hear a voice of reason.
    Leigh Ann recently posted..I got a sunburn for Mother’s Day. Among other things.

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    Carol Reply:

    Thanks! I hope your sunburn gets better!

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  3. Well said Carol. To each her own!
    Trish recently posted..Mom has my back

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    Carol Reply:

    Thanks, Trish!

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  4. Amen to #3 my friend.
    Stefani recently posted..Thank You Thursday: Anna Yates, Intern Extraordinaire

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    Carol Reply:

    There was a time when I didn’t say #3 out loud, but I got over it.

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  5. Sydney

    That picture did get me with shock value. It seems that the extreme viewpoints on most subjects don’t sit we’ll with me. Perhaps balancing is just moderation.

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    Carol Reply:

    I’m trying to get better at not having an extreme reaction to something extreme. I used to want to punch Dr. Sears. I’m trying to spend less time wanting to punch people.

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  6. The photo was indeed for shock value….sadly. I did practice attachment parenting, mostly. But honestly, the kids led the way. My first was a preemie, and needed to nurse almost hourly at first. So I kept the bassinet right next to the bed, and many times feel asleep nursing him. That worked, as I was too exhausted to get up and move him safely.

    My second one only wanted to go to sleep in her crib, so holding her once she got sleepy would have kept her from sleeping. So I worked with her personality. My third needed constant touch, so I wore a carrier everywhere for months.

    I don’t believe in letting babies “cry it out”…they have no other tool to express their needs, and I firmly believe you cannot “spoil” a newborn! But otherwise, I think we need to chill, take the “experts” with a good dose of skepticism, and trust ourselves as moms to see and respond to our babies’ needs. And over all, I think most moms who do that, do a pretty good job.
    Lindsay recently posted..Shakespeare goes Bollywood with the Austin Shakespeare Company

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    Carol Reply:

    That makes sense to me, to listen and learn from your baby, they will tell you what you want to know sometimes. Thank you for the comment!

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