It’s Like that Time When I Almost Killed My Grandma


What happened to the bottom of the graphic? I don’t know. The show is at 8pm and costs $8.

What is storytelling really? I say I’m going to Lithuania to teach storytelling, but what is that? Reading story books to kids in the library? Telling a ghost story by the campfire? Confessing about that time you were so drunk and you woke up in your best friend’s brother’s bed?

It’s all that, but I tell true, personal stories without notes, Moth-like. It’s a mix between a speech, stand-up comedy, writing, improv and therapy (of an alternative nature). The stories are about what really happened to me. The performances by multiple storytellers are usually around a theme.

You can see it live and in person when I will tell a story titled, When I Almost Killed My Grandma, with The Story Department on Tuesday night. The theme is Mommy Dearest and my story takes place in Portugal, when my Grandma served as my temporary Mom, even though I was almost 30 years old. Catherine Berry, winner of Best of the Fest at Frontera Fest this year, will also be telling a story. It’s just $8, to raise money for a non-profit that teaches writing to kids. Come if you can, because you are going to want to know more about my super young Portuguese boyfriend.

Good Food, Red Wine and Family

My Grandma passed away last week. These are a few things I remember about my Grandma.

  • She was born in Portugal, in a house made of stone and mud on the side of a mountain, and as a child she walked down the mountain to school in her bare feet.
  • When I was young, she would tell me I was too skinny and watch to see if she thought I was eating enough, which was impossible, so I learned to take a bite only when she was looking.
  • When I got older, she stopped telling me I was too skinny. 🙁
  • The throw pillows in her and Grandpa’s house were covered in plastic, to protect them, as if they would be the only throw pillows she would ever have and maybe they were.
  • She talked about the mafia a lot, she said everything in Jersey was controlled by the mafia.
  • When we traveled to Portugal together, she told our relatives I was twenty-six instead of twenty-nine, because I was way to old to be single and she arranged for a suitor to take me on walks. He was sixteen and his favorite band was the Spice Girls.

Bye bye, Grandma. I love you and I’ll miss you.