Not Too Cold, Not Too Hot, It’s Just Right

Kids at Mayfield Park in Austin

Blue Eyes, the girls and I have loved Austin’s winter so far, cold-but-not-too-cold mornings for bundling up and warm-but-not-too-warm sunny afternoons for playing outside. The girls and I discovered trails behind Mayfield Park, with an outdoor set of stairs to a small pier overlooking the lake. Mayfield Park wasn’t too bad either, with real live peacocks, ponds with fish and funky old buildings.

Kids at Mayfield Park in Austin

(Someone might expect a picture of one of the real-live peacocks, but they were in the trees when we were there, with their feathers folded down. Who knew that peacocks could fly into the trees? I didn’t know that.)

I’m working on yet another new set of pages for y’all, so I’m going to take a break from posts for a while. I hope you have a nice winter and enjoy the lovely weather.  I’ll be back soon.


What Pretty Blue Eyes You Have

I wrote the other day about how some people think Sparkles and Buttercup look like twins. I said one of the reasons is that they both have the same pretty blue eyes.

This brings up another awkward conversation I have about my girls with people I have just met.

Sometimes they say “Oh, my, they BOTH have such pretty blue eyes!” Then they look at my brown eyes and I can see the math going on in their head. Blue Eyes has, well, blue eyes, but even then, what are the chances of the two of us having two blue-eyed kids?

I just smile, when I get that look. But for y’all, since we have known each other for a while, I’ll let you know that my girls are donor egg babies and our donor has blue eyes. So the math isn’t that hard after all.

There was a deep sadness about that, when we found out we were very unlikely to get pregnant with my eggs. That I would never see my own features in my child, my own way of walking, maybe just an expression.

I had a friend who was adopted. He met his birth family for the first time when he was in his forties. He said he knew instantly that he was related to them because they shared physical traits and subtle mannerisms. It was comforting for him to have found that connection.

I won’t have that connection with my girls. There will be other connections, but not genetic ones. I catch myself sometimes, like when one of them likes a food that I like, then I remember that she couldn’t really have gotten that from me.

But they instinctively reach for me when they are hurt and they call me Mommy without needing to understand genetics or math.

My girls don’t have my eyes, but they have me.


It Slipped Through When I Wasn’t Careful

I’m grounded.

I have been for a while.

I have too many hobbies and I’m not allowed to have any more and I cannot, under any circumstances, sign up for anything new.

But I have a condition. There should be a name for it. Things tend to slip through when I’m not careful.

Sparkles took me aside the other day when I picked her up from day care. I knelt down beside her. She whispered her story. She said that sometimes parents come to the day care to talk about a country they have visited. She said that the parent gets to tell her story from the front of the room. And, this is the important part, the child gets to sit right next to her parent, also at the front of the room.

She asked if maybe I wanted to do that.

It slipped through when I wasn’t careful.

In one week, I had a business project due, I performed in the Maternal Instincts Project and I launched Austin Kids Dance! I was nearly in a coma by the end. But I had to stay conscious a little bit longer. My presentation about Ecuador was just a few days away.

I traveled a lot in my twenties. I have a scrapbook for every trip. I found them all. Except Ecuador. Ecuador was the one of the few countries I have been to twice, but I had nothing to show.

My brother would have something, though. He lived in Ecuador when he was in the Peace Corps and he lives in Austin now. No problem.

I went to his apartment and looked through his pictures.

I love my brother.

But he has a several hundred pictures of random areas of leafy, green vegetation and tree limbs, with a small bit of moss in the middle, of different colors, but mostly shades of brown.

I was starting to get worried.

Tired and worried.

“But you have slides, right?” I asked.

“Not really. The projector probably doesn’t work anymore” he said.

“Can we check?” I asked.

He looked and then we fiddled and messed and fidgeted.

Then, magic!

The projector worked. I knew I had it made. It almost didn’t matter what kind of slides he had, this projector was so cool!

Sparkles and other kids her age have never seen slides before. I could tell them it was the latest technology! When you closed the lens cover on this projector, the image was projected on a small TV-like screen. So, it was like you had your own TV that you created the pictures for yourself. OK, maybe you can do that on an old-fashioned PC too, but this looked cool because it was so different. It even had a cassette player on the side so you could make a true multi-media presentation. Wow.

I found enough slides of flowers and butterflies that had some color.

The kids LOVED the slides.

The last slide was of the tree house where my brother lived. The kids LOVED the idea of living in a tree house and they had TONS of questions. (Did it have a bed? Where did he go to the bathroom? Where was his Mommy?)

I told them about the train ride I took with my brother when we bought the cheap tickets and rode on the top of the train as it went through a mountain range, down to the coast. About how we could see the beautiful mountains all around us in every direction and how we rode through the clouds and how it was a little scary going through the pitch black tunnels. And how when the train broke down, one of the engineers climbed up the side of the mountain we were on, then climbed a telephone pole to connect to a radio to call for help. We played cards on top of the train for hours while we waited, having a great time.

A week or so later, I found the picture of me standing on the top of the train before it left the station, super early in the morning, when it was super cold. I didn’t have warm clothes, so I layered everything I had, with black leggings under my overall shorts, the super-big sweater my brother had bought me and a shirt on my head, with the sleeves tied under my chin, like a poor man’s hat.

Growing Up Austin Parenting

I survived that ride on top of a train and I survived that week as a Mom/project manager/writer. I’ve slept in a few mornings since then. I’m recovering nicely.

Until the next time I let something slip through when I’m not careful.