Minivan Crime Scene

Austin Parenting“How do you plead?” says the judge.

“Guilty,” I reply.

I knew the moment I licked through the hard candy outside and started to chew on the Tootsie Roll inside that I had made a terrible mistake.

I slipped the stick into the a pocket in the driver’s side door, out of sight.

“Can you explain what happened on that day,” the lawyer asks.

“I’ll try,” I respond.

It all started when we were early for gymnastics class at Capital Gymnastics. This never happens. We were so early, that we stopped by Blue Eyes’ work to surprise him.

I love surprises, but they don’t always work and Blue Eyes was in his office with his team, drawing on the white board, outlining a plan, leading the way. He only had time for a quick hug and kiss.

All seemed well at first. There was a basket of candy just outside Blue Eyes’ office door and it was a handy distraction. Sparkles picked out her favorite – a grape (i.e. purple) lollipop.

It didn’t last. As soon as we got outside, she cried and screamed and fell to the sidewalk in agony over not getting to play more with her Dad.

Huge, loud, messy meltdown.

Right outside the office building with windows and Blue Eyes’ co-workers on the other side.

When we made it to the car and Sparkles was in her car seat, she calmed down. She remembered the lollipop and started to eat it. I started to drive to gymnastics.

Then she started crying again and said she didn’t want her lollipop. Oh, my, this is serious. She has never not wanted a lollipop before. So I reached back with my hand and she handed me the lollipop, sticky side first, of coarse. Then she hugged her stuffed animal and sucked her thumb.

I don’t know what happened after that. I didn’t think it all through. I just had the lollipop in my hand and who doesn’t like a good lollipop?

So I ate it.

I just ate it without thinking.

We were 2 minutes from the safety of the gymnastics studio, so close, just one more light and a left turn, when Sparkles, still on the verge of tears, still so close to another meltdown, says “Mom, I want my lollipop.”


Evidence in the pocket of the driver’s side door in this minivan crime scene.

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  1. Sydney

    LOLOLOL so cute! What did you say?!


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